


How To Be Homophobic

by Fangirlwriting



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: And it kinda rubs off on him, Can be read as platonic or pre boyf riends, Gen, Jeremy’s mom is homophobic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-25 15:03:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20726156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirlwriting/pseuds/Fangirlwriting
Summary: A guide by Jeremy Heere.(Or Jeremy Heere’s relationship over the years with the idea of being gay.)





	How To Be Homophobic

Being gay was not okay. Jeremy had known this since he was 5 years old. His mom had made it very clear after he’d become friends with a boy named Michael Mell.

Jeremy had met him on the first day of Kindergarten when they had found each other at recess. He was bouncing a ball against the side of the building and then chasing after it, and Jeremy, encouraged by the fact that he was alone (more than one kid seemed like too much for him right now), walked up and asked if he could join. Michael beamed at him and offered him the ball, which Jeremy bounced against the wall— only for it to bounce back and hit him in the face. Jeremy had started crying and Michael had helped him up and walked them both off to find the nurse.

And thus, an epic friendship was born.

Jeremy’s dad picked him up from school everyday, meaning he was the only one who knew Michael’s parents for a while. He would talk with Michael’s moms as Jeremy and Michael both finished playing in the corner.

It wasn’t until Jeremy and Michael’s friendship status updated in the eyes of their parents from Cute Kids That Play Together to Actual Best Friends that Jeremy was given the “okay” to have a sleepover at Michael’s house. His dad dropped him off with a reminder that his mother was going to be picking him up tomorrow because he would be at the office.

Jeremy was pretty sure that night was the best one of his entire life. He and Michael played Mario Kart and his moms got them pizza and they allowed them to stay up to 9:00 watching movies.  _ 9:00! _

Then the next morning they made them cinnamon rolls for breakfast. Jeremy had never had them before but they were  _ so good. _

Then, around eleven in the morning Jeremy’s mom picked him up and finally met both Michael and his moms, Analyn and Rachel.

She smiled at Michael and Analyn, but when Rachel came out of the kitchen she frowned. She didn’t say anything about it, however, and simply took Jeremy home.

That night Jeremy heard his mom and dad fighting downstairs, and crept down to the steps to listen.

“Jeremy cannot be friends with that boy anymore!” his mom yelled.

What? Why? Had he done something wrong? Sometimes his mom took his toys away when he threw them, was this like that?

“Martha, be reasonable!” Jeremy’s dad cried.

“I just do not want him growing up thinking that  _ that _ kind of thing is okay!”

“Martha!”

“That boy had two mothers, Paul! That’s not natural! They are going to cause that poor boy to grow up gay too!”

Jeremy blinked in surprise. Was something wrong with Analyn and Rachel?

“Martha, he’s just a kid! We cannot stop him from being friends with Michael, especially not for a reason like that!”

“You understand that if Jeremiah spends time around them—”

“What? What will happen?”

Jeremy hit his breaking point around there and turned and ran back up the stairs. He didn’t want to stop being friends with Michael! He was nice, and they had fun together!

Around half an hour later Jeremy heard footsteps coming up the stairs and into his room, where Jeremy had been hiding under his blanket.

“Jeremy?” came his dad’s voice.

Jeremy peeked out from under the blanket. “Do I have to stop being friends with Michael?” he whispered.

His dad’s eyes widened. “No, of course not, Jeremy.” he said, pulling Jeremy onto his lap and offering a hug. “I’m sorry, you weren’t supposed to hear that.”

Jeremy sighed in relief at the idea of still being friends with Michael, and leaned into his dad’s hug.

“Okay,” his dad said, setting him down on the bed again. “You’re up past your bedtime, how about you get some sleep?”

Jeremy nodded, and his dad started singing a lullaby to him. Jeremy fell asleep pretty quickly.

…

It was another couple days before Jeremy heard of that thing called “gay” again. His mother was going to the grocery store and he had asked to come along, so she had let him.

“Mom,” he’d asked as they pulled into the grocery store’s parking lot. “What’s gay?”

His mother went very still and parked the car before she turned around. Jeremy had never seen her look so serious before, and he shrunk back a little. “It’s when two men and two women are in a relationship,” his mother said, and she sounded disgusted. “It’s  _ wrong, _ Jeremiah.”

And with that, she opened turned off the car and opened her door, and that was the end of that conversation. But it was all Jeremy could think about for the rest of the shopping trip.

…

“Michael?” Jeremy asked.

“Yeah?” Michael asked, looking up from the blocks the two of them were playing with on the floor of his bedroom.

“Why do you have two moms?”

Michael smiled at him. “Oh, ‘cause they love each other, jus’ like your mommy and daddy. That’s what they told me.” he said, and went back to the blocks like the matter was solved.

Jeremy managed to put the matter out of his head to play with the blocks again, and soon forgot about it until dinnertime, when he saw Analyn and Rachel again.

They were in the middle of eating when Michael climbed up and ran out of the room to go to the bathroom. Jeremy turned to Rachel and Analyn.

“So, what’s wrong with you?” he asked.

They both blinked at him in confusion. “What do you mean, Jeremy?” Analyn asked.

“My mommy says two women shouldn’t love each other.”

Analyn’s eyes widened, and both her and Rachel turned to face each other.

Slowly, they turned to face him again. “Well, Jeremy,” Anayn said slowly. “Sometimes people do have different… opinions on things. And it is true that some people think two women and two men should not love each other. We both think it is fine, and people can love who they want, but your mom may not think that way.”

Rachel opened her mouth, but Analyn grabbed her hand to cut her off.

At that point Michael ran back into the room and they continued with dinner, though it seemed much more awkward than before.

When Jeremy’s mom came to pick him up after dinner, Jeremy had his second occasion of witnessing adults fighting from a spot in the hall.

“Look,” Jeremy’s mom said, standing up so she was taller than Michael’s mothers. “If you two want to live this way I—  _ suppose _ I cannot stop you. But I will not have you pushing your ideals onto my son—”

_ “That’s what you’re doing!” _ Rachel hissed. “And if  _ you _ want to live this way, I suppose we cannot stop you. But you could try allowing your son to build his  _ own _ opinions on matters as he sees fit!”

“Rachel.” Analyn said, quietly, taking her hand. Jeremy’s mom looked down at it in disgust. Analyn didn’t move her hand away, but turned back to Jeremy’s mom. “If you cannot stand to be around us, you could—”

Jeremy knew where this was going.

“No!” he cried, running out from the hallway. All three adults turned to him in surprise, and Jeremy grabbed Analyn’s leg, trying to pull her away. “No, I don’t want to stop seeing Michael! You can’t make me!” he whined, starting to cry.

“Jeremy—” Analyn started.

“No! You can’t make me, you can’t you can’t you can’t!”

All the screaming alerted the very person Jeremy was screaming about, and Michael showed up in the hallway.

“Jeremy, what’s wrong?” Michael called.

Jeremy, noticing Michael, immediately abandoned Analyn in favor of him, and ran to Michael and hugged him tight. “I don’t want to stop being friends!” he cried, and wrapped his whole body around Michael, who he was almost certain he would never see again.

Michael seemed to have almost no idea what was happening, but started crying because Jeremy was crying, and hugged him back just as tightly.

A second later Analyn walked up and gently laid a hand on Jeremy’s shoulder. “Jeremy, of course you can still be friends,” she whispered, and now both of the crying boys looked up at her. Jeremy sniffed hard.

“I can?” he asked.

“Of course, we would never do anything like that,  _ pulot _ .”

Michael, though he had just become aware that such a thing was apparently being considered, sighed in relief anyway and hugged Jeremy again.

“But how about for now we all head home?” Analyn continued. “Just for now,” she assured, when both boys looked at her in fear. “We’ve all had a pretty long day.”

Jeremy sniffed again. “Okay,” he said, and climbed off the floor. “See you in school tomorrow, Micha—” he hiccupped. “Micah.”

“Promise.” Michael affirmed, and both boys hugged each other one last time before Jeremy headed out with his mother.

…

Okay, so Analyn and Rachel couldn’t be gay.

Jeremy came to this conclusion when he was eight years old, long after his mom had told him being gay was wrong.

Jeremy had puzzled over this conundrum for a long time. He had accepted a long time ago that being gay wasn’t okay. But it was also an accepted fact by him that there was nothing wrong with Michael’s moms. They were nice to him, they let him continue being friends with Michael, and sometimes they seemed to be more supportive than Jeremy’s own mother. There was nothing wrong with them.

But being gay was wrong.

Therefore, Analyn and Rachel weren’t gay. There was nothing wrong with them, so they weren’t gay.

Jeremy felt infinitely better after he came to this conclusion. It was almost laughingly simple.

Being gay was wrong.

Nothing was wrong with Michael’s moms.

Ergo, they weren’t gay.

Duh!

If only this conclusion could fit with the wedding invitation Jeremy’s family got in March.

Gay marriage had been legal in Massachusetts since since 2003. Jeremy knew this because when they got the invitation his mom had spent the day storming around the house screeching about how society had been crumbling since then. Jeremy was inclined to agree with her…

Until he thought about what the invitation meant specifically.

The invitation was to go with Michael and his moms to Massachusetts in two months to watch them to get married.

But this meant that Analyn and Rachel were gay. His mom said they were getting gay married, which you had to be gay to do… right?

But there was nothing wrong with Analyn and Rachel.

Well, now Jeremy didn’t know what to think. Again.

Maybe he didn’t have to. His mom had forbade him from going to the wedding— which his dad had gotten angry about. But Jeremy was relieved. He wasn’t sure he could stomach watching a gay wedding—

Wait. No. Analyn and Rachel weren’t gay.

But they were getting  _ married. _ How in the world did that work?

Eventually, a couple days after Jeremy discovered the marriage would be taking place, he figured it out:

Analyn and Rachel weren’t gay. They were two women in love who were getting married, but they weren’t gay. Pure and simple.

(Years down the line, Jeremy would laugh about this conclusion, but it made perfect sense at the time.)

Then there came the other problem.

The one of telling Michael he wasn’t going.

“I’m so excited, Jer!” Michael called happily at lunch one day. “You know, most kids don’t get to be at their parents weddings! I guess that makes me super lucky, huh? Aren’t you excited?”

Michael was beaming at him, and Jeremy couldn’t stand that he was about to disappoint him—

“I’m not going.” he blurted out.

Michael’s face fell. “What? Why?”

“Because I can’t—” Jeremy’s breath caught.

He couldn’t explain it, but if he had to tell Michael he couldn’t go because the couple getting married consisted of two women, he felt like he might actually throw up.

“I can’t— miss family plans,” he finished lamely.

Michael tipped his head in confusion. “Huh?”

“My mom’s parents are coming in and I never get to see them and they’re always super busy and yeah,” Jeremy got out in one rushed breath.

Jeremy’s mom’s parents had been dead for almost a decade. Jeremy had never even met them.

“Oh.” Michael still looked really disappointed. “Okay.” The next second he lit up. “But hey, my moms said they’re going on this thing called a honeymoon, and that means I get to stay with you for an  _ entire week!” _

Well,  _ now  _ Jeremy was excited. A whole week with Michael! Wow, this honeymoon thing was awesome! Maybe he and Michael should try it sometime, and spend even more time together!

But apparently not everyone was as thrilled as Jeremy was.

“I will not watch their son while they go off doing—  _ you know,” _ Jeremy’s mom hissed, while Jeremy was once again watching from the steps.

“For God’s sake, Martha!” Jeremy’s dad exclaimed. “There is nothing wrong with two married people—”

_ “Women.” _

_ “People. _ Going on a trip after they get married. If we were going on a honeymoon now, wouldn’t we need someone to watch Jeremy?”

“That’s different and you know it.”

“No, Martha. It is  _ not _ different.” Quite frankly, I am putting my foot down here. Michael is absolutely allowed to stay here for the week.”

For once, Jeremy was on his dad’s side. It meant he got an extra-long sleepover with Michael!

The day came, Analyn and Rachel had come back from Massachusetts, and were heading off again after dropping Michael off at Jeremy’s house. Michael gave them both a huge hug and then ran straight up to Jeremy, excitedly babbling about everything they were going to do throughout the week.

Jeremy’s mom was in the kitchen, subtly making her displeasure with the whole situation known.

Jeremy said goodbye to Michael’s moms too, and then ran to the living room, followed by Michael, both of them now grinning.

Five-year old Jeremy was wrong.  _ This  _ was the best time of his life. Every morning would start with he and Michael waking up and playing video games until his mom or dad called them for breakfast, then eating and going to school, spending the whole school day together, and coming back home and playing together again immediately.

“Micah?” he asked happily one afternoon.

Michael paused the video game and grinned at him. “Yeah?”

“When we grow up, can we live together so every day can be like this?”

Michael beamed at him. “Yeah! That’ll be so fun! Oh oh, what house d’ya wanna live in, Jer?”

“A big one! Oh, like a mansion!”

“Yeah, like with a pole slide down to the kitchen!” Michael joked.

“And flying cars!”

“And ice cream for every meal!”

They both burst into giggles.

The two spent the next half hour planning their dream house, which would be complete with bungee jumping, a video game  _ palace _ (not a room, it’s different), a movie theatre, and cool bunk beds for them to sleep in, because they’d always wanted bunk beds.

The problem with the dream house was his mother.

She overheard them and stood in the doorway, and when Jeremy saw her, she was frowning disapprovingly.

Jeremy shrunk away.

“Jeremiah?” she asked. “Can I talk to you a moment?”

“Be right back, Micah,” Jeremy mumbled, and then he slowly climbed up and walked over to talk to her. “Yes?” he asked quietly.

“You cannot live with Michael,” his mother hissed. “Do you want to turn out gay?”

Jeremy’s eyes widened, and he shook his head. “But we wouldn’t be, mom,” he clarified. “We’re just living together, that’s all.”

“There is no difference, Jeremiah.” his mother spat. “If two boys live together that makes them gay.”

It  _ did? _ Jeremy didn’t know that. But Analyn and Rachel lived together. Did that mean—

No. His mom had said two  _ boys. _ Surely girls were different. Because there was nothing wrong with Analyn and Rachel.

Jeremy nodded to his mother, who them stormed away.

Jeremy walked sadly back to Michael. “My mom says we can’t live together.” he said.

Michael’s face fell. “Oh,” he said sadly.

But a second later his face lit up again. “I’ll just come over every day, then. First thing.”

Jeremy sighed in relief and then grinned at him. If they couldn’t live together, that was the next best thing. “Okay.” he said.

Michael grinned back and opened his arms, and Jeremy gave him a squeezing hug.

Five seconds later they were back to video games.

…

Jeremy’s definition of gay was flipped upside down when he was thirteen. Mostly when he learned the term “homophobic.” He heard his father scream it as his mother one night like it meant the scum of the earth.

So Jeremy looked it up.

ho·mo·pho·bic

adjective

having or showing a dislike of or prejudice against homosexual people.

Next he looked up “homosexual” after realizing he didn’t know what that meant either.

ho·mo·sex·u·al

adjective

(of a person) sexually attracted to people of one's own sex.

Okay, so like… boys who like boys. Or girls who like girls! Like Analyn and Rachel! Oh, thank goodness. Finally, Jeremy had an answer. Analyn and Rachel weren’t gay, they were  _ homosexual. _

There. That made perfect sense.

But then Jeremy looked further down, past the second definition as a noun.

synonyms: gay person, lesbian, gay, lesbigay; More

A synonym was gay?

No.

That  _ can’t _ be right.

Because there was  _ nothing wrong _ with Analyn and Rachel.

So… the internet must be wrong. Yeah. The internet was wrong all the time. It had just gotten its terms mixed up.

Right.

But something about that conclusion didn’t sit right with Jeremy. He just couldn’t put his finger on what.

Until a couple days later.

It was hardly uncommon for Jeremy and Michael to have sleepovers. At this point it was at least a weekly occurrence. So Jeremy didn’t understand why Michael looked so nervous when he asked him.

“Uh, hey, Jeremy!” Michael called, meeting up with him at his locker after school that Monday.

Jermey smiled at him. “Yeah, what’s up?” he asked.

Michael was fidgeting with his fingers, looking down at the floor.

Jeremy tipped his head. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“What?” Michael looked up. Then he grinned at him, but it looked forced. “Oh, yeah! I’m great, Jer! I was just wondering if you wanted to spend the night tonight?”

Jeremy gave him a little bit of a confused smile. “Uh, yeah. Sure, Michael. But is there a reason you’re so nervous?”

“Nervous? I’m not nervous! Why would I be nervous, I mean we have sleepovers so often I barely need to ask right?” He burst into nervous laughter.

Jeremy raised his eyebrows. “Uh-huh…”

“Great! So can your mom drop you off?”

“Yeah, for sure. I’ll be there for dinner?”

“Sounds great!” Michael called nervously, and then he turned and sprinted off.

Jeremy shook his head in bafflement after him.

Well. Michael would always be Michael, wouldn’t he.

He showed up there for dinner, and Analyn and Rachel bought them both pizza, which Michael barely touched.

They went down to his new room in the basement after dinner— Michael had been so excited when he first got it, going on and on to Jeremy about how he got the whole basement to himself, with a mini fridge and a TV and wasn’t it just  _ great— _ and Jeremy was seriously worried about his friend.

They played video games for about half an hour, with Michael growing increasingly nervous the whole time, and Jeremy growing increasingly confused and concerned.

Eventually Jeremy realized he was going to have to initiate whatever this was, so he paused the video game.

Michael turned to him. “Why’d you stop?”

“What is wrong?”

Michael immediately looked nervous again. “Nothing’s wrong, what—”

“Michael. What. Is. Wrong.”

Michael sighed. “I have something to tell you.” he mumbled. “I don’t know why I’m so nervous about it, I mean you’ve known my moms since we were five years old.”

Jeremy tipped his head. “This is about your moms?” he asked.

“No. Well, kind of. I—” Michael took a deep breath and looked away. “I’m gay, Jeremy.”

Jeremy’s world screeched to a halt.

No. Not possible. Michael could not be gay.

Jeremy looked at Michael, who was still looking away, very tense.

He couldn’t stand the thought of what he was about to do, but if Michael turned around and Jeremy was still there, he was going to say something very, very bad.

So Jeremy turned around and walked silently from the basement.

Michael turned around after Jeremy had been quiet for too long to find an empty beanbag. “Jer?”

…

Jeremy slammed the bathroom door shut, locked it, and shoved his hand over his mouth.

Michael could not be gay. That did not fit in Jeremy’s lined up world view of what was right and wrong. Being gay was wrong. It was wrong.

But nothing—  _ nothing _ was wrong with Michael. Jeremy would scream it from the rooftops. Michael was the epitome of everything good and wonderful and perfect in this world.

Maybe Michael was homosexual, not gay. Like Analyn and Rachel. That would make sense, unless—

Unless they were the  _ same goddamn thing _ like the  _ definition _ said they were.

But no. That would mean Analyn and Rachel were gay too. And there was nothing wrong with them. That’s why he had decided they were homosexual and not gay.

But Michael didn’t say he was homosexual. Michael said he was gay.

But being gay was wrong.

_ But nothing was wrong with Michael. _ Not ever ever ever could anything ever be wrong with Michael.

But Michael was gay.

Jeremy stumbled over to the toilet, lifted the lid, and threw up.

A couple seconds later a knock came on the door. “Jeremy?” came Analyn’s voice. “Are you in there? Michael’s looking for you!”

Jeremy was still leaning over the toilet, breathing heavily, but he managed to call “I think I’m sick!” because if there was any way of getting out of this without Michael completely hating him, that was it.

“Oh, no.” Analyn said. “Okay, I’ll take you home, Jeremy. Or I can call your mother?”

“No! Dad! Call Dad!” Jeremy screamed before he could think about what he was doing.

“O-okay, Jeremy.” Analyn said, sounding concerned.

“Jeremy?” came Michael’s voice.

Jeremy felt tears well in his eyes and start to spill down his cheeks. “I’m sorry, Micah!” he cried. “I didn’t mean—” he cut himself off with more tears.

“Jer, it’s okay.” Michael said. “It’s not your fault you got sick.”

Jeremy whined and leaned over the toilet, because he wasn’t entirely sure he wasn’t about to puke again.

About ten minutes later, Jeremy heard another knock and his dad’s voice came gently through the door.

“Hey, bud, I need you to unlock the door, okay?”

Jeremy managed to stumble over and unlock the door, and launch himself into his dad’s arms, despite how much it made him feel like a little kid. His dad, to his credit, did not complain about all the puke Jeremy was no doubt getting on his shirt.

Jeremy was then taken home without seeing Michael again.

The following night wasn’t fun for anyone.

Jeremy, to  _ his _ credit, did not throw up again, but he did end up with a fever of 100.3, enough to keep him home from school. He had never been grateful for getting sick before, but he supposed there was a first time for everything. Because he definitely needed some time to sort out his feelings before he saw Michael again.

One of the things he did manage to do was text Michael ‘I don’t care that you’re gay by the way. Of course I don’t care’ even though it made his stomach churn, because he very much did care.

But if he actually told Michael that he thought there was something wrong with being gay, over  _ text, _ he would never be able to look him in the eye again.

But… why? There  _ was _ something wrong with being gay.

Wasn’t there?

His dad had stayed home from the office at Jeremy’s insistence, though he wouldn’t tell him why. So his mother was at work, and when his dad brought up some crackers and water for him to have around lunchtime, Jeremy found the courage to ask him something.

“Hey, Dad?”

His dad paused and turned back from the doorway. “Yes, Jeremy?”

“What does gay mean?”

His dad then walked back over and sat on his bed. “It’s when someone is attracted to the same gender. Like Analyn and Rachel.”

Jeremy felt his stomach churn again at that, but pushed past it. “Is something wrong with it?”

His dad’s eyes widened, but he took a breath. “Well, bud, I think you’ll have to decide that for yourself, but I don’t think so. Do you think there’s something wrong with Analyn and Rachel?”

No.

No he very much didn’t.

In fact, he had taught his brain gymnastics so it could bend and twist around the word ‘gay’ because he very much didn’t.

So if nothing was wrong with Analyn or Rachel.

And nothing was wrong with Michael.

But all three of them were very much gay.

Maybe that just meant that there was nothing wrong with being gay.

Jeremy leaned back against the headboard. “Okay,” he said thoughtfully. “Thanks, Dad.”

His dad smiled at him. “Anytime, kiddo.”

He headed back out.

Jeremy went back to school two days later, after his fever broke that night. The very first thing he did was run up to Michael and squeeze him as tight as he could, and then squeeze him tighter, and then tell him that he was so proud of him.

Michael was very confused, but hugged Jeremy back and told him he was glad he was feeling better.

Jeremy asked him if he wanted to finish their sleepover that night.

Michael’s eyes narrowed in concern. “Are you sure you’re up for it yet, Jer?”

Jeremy nodded.

So his father dropped him off again that night and Jeremy had just as good of a time as last time, with the lovely addition of no puking being involved.

But Jeremy made sure that he stayed up later than Michael (it was not easy, but he managed), and then walked back upstairs. Analyn and Rachel were both sitting on their bed in their room, snugged up together and watching a movie.

Jeremy felt the now familiar churn in his stomach as he opened the door, but he shoved it away and walked forward from the hallway.

“Jeremy?” Analyn called, glancing over. “I thought you and Michael were downstairs.”

“Michael’s asleep.” Jeremy said.

Analyn’s eyes widened. “This early? Is  _ he _ feeling okay?”

“He’s probably just tired.” Rachel said. “He has been up pretty late worrying about Jeremy since he got sick.” Rachel shook her head at Jeremy. “We tried to tell him how mad you’d get if he got sick because he was worrying about you, but he wouldn’t listen.”

Analyn chuckled. “Yeah, that makes sense.” She turned back towards Jeremy. “Did you need something,  _ pulot _ ?”

Jeremy walked over to Analyn and promptly buried his face in her pajama shirt and started sobbing.

“Jeremy, what’s wrong?” Rachel asked, starting to run her hands through his hair.

Jeremy spent the next five minutes blubbering out apologies about them and their wedding and homophobia and his mom and the word gay vs homosexual that barely even made sense to him, but they both seemed to get the message.

“Jeremy,  _ pulot, _ ” Analyn whispered. She sounded brokenhearted. “It’s okay, baby.”

Jeremy shook his head against her shirt and said something else about just deciding that they weren’t gay, and nothing gave him the right to decide that for them, and—

“Jeremy.” Rachel said, scooting closer and gently kissing the top of his head. “It really is okay. You cannot be responsible for things someone else has told you.”

Jeremy mumbled something incoherent, that not even he could understand.

“Jeremy,” Analyn said, starting to rub his back. “I am so proud of you,  _ pulot. _ ”

Jeremy looked up at her through watery eyes. “Proud?” he whimpered. “Why?”

“Because you came to that conclusion all by yourself, and you seem to like it more than the previous one.”

“I mean, my dad helped,” he mumbled.

Rachel laughed. “Trust me, that does not make us any less proud of you.”

Jeremy sniffed. “So you’re both gay.” he said.

Rachel nodded.

“And there’s nothing wrong with you.”

Analyn gave Jeremy an amused smile, and then looked at Rachel. “I don’t know. I mean, there is definitely something wrong with Rachel’s cooking.”

Jeremy laughed as he wiped away a couple more tears. He looked back up at both of them. “I might—” he sniffed again. “I might need your help to figure some of this out?” he asked hesitantly.

“Absolutely.” Analyn said, scooping Jeremy up and settling him on her lap. “Any questions you have, Jeremy.”

Jeremy nodded, and leaned against Analyn as Rachel scooted closer and joined in on the hug.

“I think right now,” he mumbled. “I just want to go to bed.”

“I’ll bet.” Rachel said. “All of this has probably worn you out.”

Jeremy stood up and climbed off the bed, and after both Analyn and Rachel gave him one more hug, Jeremy walked back downstairs and climbed onto the air mattress on the floor.

Later, they would explain to Jeremy that there were actually many more terms than just gay and straight. Rachel was actually bisexual, meaning she was attracted to both genders, and Jeremy would find something strangely familiar about that explanation— but  _ that _ was for another day. He was not  _ nearly _ ready to think about that.

Michael did eventually find out about all of this, during a breakdown Jeremy had on a night when the self-deprecating voices in his head were particularly loud, but Michael simply gave Jeremy one of his amazing hugs and told him he was so proud of how strong his best friend was.

And of course his mom did not stop with her homophobic comments about Analyn, Rachel, or Michael, once she found out, but now Jeremy just simply looked at her for a moment and reminded himself that his mother could be wrong. Really, really wrong in this particular case.

Because being gay was okay.


End file.
